let's talk about sex, baby
by earwig
Summary: "Good morning, handsome," aka the one where Dick sleeps around a lot. (Chalant, plus Dick/Barbara, Dick/Raquel, Dick/Bette)


**Title:** let's talk about sex, baby

**Author:** empressearwig/earwig

**Pairing/Fandom:** Young Justice; Dick/Zatanna, Dick/Barbara, Dick/Raquel, Dick/Bette

**Spoilers:** All aired episodes, I guess, but issue 20 of the comic is actually the most relevant thing.

**Rating:** R

**Word Count:** ~1100

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing, this is all for fun. This hasn't happened. Yet. Etc.

**Summary:** "Good morning, handsome," aka the one where Dick sleeps around a lot. (Chalant, plus Dick/Barbara, Dick/Raquel, Dick/Bette)

It's a cliché, but he loses his virginity on prom night when he's sixteen. Zatanna's prom night, to be specific, and okay he's not proud of himself for being jealous that he's not her first too, but at the same time he's so relieved that one of them knows enough to make it not completely terrible, so that has to count for something, right?

"Dick," Zatanna says urgently from above him, and he does his best to focus, but god, it's just so much.

"What -" he manages to say, and she takes his hand and redirects it to the space between their bodies, his fingers fumbling for her clit. He can tell the moment he finds it, because she moans and seriously, she is so, so hot. He can't wait. "Zee, Zee, I'm going to -"

"Yes," she says, pressing down harder against him. "Now."

He comes. She doesn't.

Dick points this out to her minutes later when he's capable of actual speech, and not just vaguely embarrassing noises.

Her mouth curves up into a smile. "I know," she says, and she tugs him on top of her. "And you're going to make that up to me right now."

Zatanna pushes his head down, and he gets the picture pretty much immediately. He settles between her legs and proceeds to do just that.

* * *

They break up six months later and somehow he's dating Barbara five minutes after that. He's not sure how it happens exactly, just that it does. She still doesn't know about his extra-curricular activities and he hates the lies, but he's not ready to tell her the truth.

He's not ready for what might happen if he does. He's not ready to face the chance that she could hate him. He couldn't live with himself if she did.

And the lies make sex terrible, because he feels guilty for enjoying himself so much when she doesn't have all the information she deserves. So he falls back on the only thing he can think of to make it up to her: orgasms.

Dick likes going down on girls, loves it even. Zatanna trained him well (and told him that's exactly what she was doing), but it's with Barbara that he really becomes an expert at it. It would have been impossible not to.

When they break up because she's not an idiot and knows that he's been keeping something from her, Barbara kisses his cheek and says, "You can still call me when - well, _when_." She winks at him, expecting him to know what she means.

He does. He doesn't call.

He calls Zatanna instead. She has no complaints about the way that he's spent the time since their break up.

No complaints at all.

* * *

If Dick's not sure how he ended up dating Barbara, he knows exactly how he ends up with Raquel, because it's Zatanna's idea. They're in her bed, and she's propped up on one elbow, her hair tumbling down over her bare breasts. He's distracted when she starts talking so it's not until she gives him an expectant _look_ that he realizes just what she's said.

"What?" he asks.

She rolls her eyes at him. "You're shameless," she says.

"You're naked," he points out. "If you want to have intelligent conversation, you should probably put on some clothes."

She rolls her eyes again, but she clearly sees the virtue in his words, because she leans over the side of the bed to snag his shirt from the floor. He watches her work her arms into the sleeves, enjoying the view, and making no attempt to put on any clothes himself.

"Now," she says, "as I was saying -"

He reaches out to run his hand up her thigh, his hand slipping below the hem of the shirt where it puddles around her legs. "Are you sure you want to talk?"

"_Yes_," she says, but it's sort of strangled and she scoots away from him on the bed. She blows her hair out of her eyes and tries again. "You should ask Raquel out."

Dick blinks and sits straight up. That had _not_ been what he was expecting her to say.

"What?"

"You heard me," she says. "You. Raquel. You'd be a good couple."

"I don't know that I want to be a couple," he says. "It never seems to work out for me."

"You're seventeen," she says. "I'm not telling you to marry her, I'm telling you to date her."

"I could date you," he says.

Something flickers in her eyes, and she shakes her head. "Been there, done that." She reaches over and pats his cheek. "Not that I don't enjoy doing that."

He reaches up to capture her hand, slides it back around his neck, pulling her into his lap. "Want to do that again?"

"Yes," she breathes against his lips. "But only if you promise to think about what I said."

"Deal," he says, sealing his mouth over hers.

He does think about it. Much, much later.

* * *

He and Raquel date for just two months, and it's nice to be with someone who knows his life, knows what it means. He doesn't love her and she doesn't love him, and even though the sex is good, neither of them is particularly sad when it ends.

"You're a good one," Raquel says to him, and he doesn't have the heart to tell her that he's not sure he agrees.

* * *

He falls into bed with Zatanna again, and he wonders why this is the only relationship that he has that lasts. He'd like to to say he does more than wonder about it, but it's hard to do anything but focus on how smooth her skin is against his hands, the noises she makes when he does something she likes, and the way that she's not shy about telling him exactly what she wants from him.

"There," she says. "More. Harder."

He does what he's told. He wonders why she never tells him she wants more from him than this.

She takes him in her mouth, and he doesn't wonder anything at all.

* * *

Dick meets Bette again in a bar, and it's obvious she has no idea who he is. He knows her from the first moment he set eyes on her though; five years of a one-sided crush left an impression that's impossible to shake.

He can tell she's interested, though, and he buys her a drink and then lets her buy him one in turn. They dance to a song that Dick can't really hear over the crowd, and when the song ends, Bette presses right up against him, her mouth over his ear.

"Do you want to get out of here?" she asks, and the only thing he can do is nod his head.

He takes her back to his place and spends the night working off at least half the fantasies he's ever had about her. They're better than he imagined, and he imagined quite a lot.

In the morning, it's his birthday and Bette doesn't know his name.


End file.
